One member’s glimpse into True Parents’ heart
By Cindy Pfeiffer (United States)
I was twenty years old when I first met Father; questions spun in my head. I wanted to experience the person who taught what had caused the fall of man, who knew Jesus’ mission and taught us how to restore our true character. “Let me experience the character of this person. Let me test the waters and see for myself.” It was this anticipation that lead to the first encounter.
I fasted three days as we drove from North Dakota to New York to help work for the Yankee Stadium campaign. Going through Belvedere grounds almost blindly, crying out to God to let me see him, I almost bumped into Father as we walked toward each other.
Father allowed me to witness his praying by a small side rock close to a fence, as I politely bowed my head. Watching and praying from a distance, I saw his tears falling on the rock as he wept. My conclusion was that he was preparing to speak to us, but his mind was on things bigger than what I was capable of imagining.
I joined the other members as Father proceeded to speak. Many miracles always surrounded True Father, and I felt he had telepathy. He would always answer what we questioned, worried about, or needed to change, all in the context of his public speaking. When an answer would come, he would look directly at the questioner with the very topic of concern, addressing the problem 100 percent accurately.
Mother was always supportive and public, always willing to share Father with the world. After my parents divorced, and up until hearing the truth, I had led a silent life of suffering, wishing for a father, but nevertheless pushing myself and God relentlessly until He brought me to the truth. Throughout the years, True Father was the one person that loved publicly, knew our true selves, understood our true motivations, and could push us to change what needed to be changed. When I wondered in my heart if I could do a difficult church mission, Father said aloud (looking at me), “For the sake of God and humankind, can you do it?” I answered, “Yes.”
For seven years on a mobile fund-raising team (MFT), thinking that I could have given up countless times, I remembered that I had told Father I could do it. While on MFT, I wrote letters to Father, explaining our days to him. Sometimes I wondered if he knew who I was and if he got the letters. If I was in New York, and Father was speaking, I would stay up all night in line waiting so I could see him closely and be right in front. One of these times, Father looked at me and smiled, saying through Colonel Pak, “I like your letters; please keep on writing.”
When it was time to leave New York for my hometown, I had been repenting for many years about the sin of American women that Father often pointed out. He began to bring up this subject again in a speech; I repented to God, saying how sorry I was. Father spoke aloud, touching my head saying, “You are a wonderful American woman.” I thought, “That’s not true,” but Father again spoke loudly in front of the whole audience, “That is true.”
When doubting myself in hometown providence, I kept Father’s encouraging words close to my heart. Many times in my hometown, I’ve sobbed uncontrollable tears over being away from Father, missing and longing for True Parents, as is the case for members worldwide.
From all parts of the world we have called out to Father, and his life and words are our guide. I worry very much about whether in the immense spirit world, I will be able to see him one more time. It seems almost impossible to show others who True Father really is. There must be a spiritual realm that True Father is opening that can release the floodgates. I am sorry for such simple wording, but I love Father with everything I am and have, for now and for eternity.